Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
