My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
