wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
