Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
