She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
