the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
