kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
