did you get engaged???
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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