I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
3 2 1 whiskey
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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