I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
