Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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