hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
