gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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