as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
