pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
