She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
