Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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