Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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