i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
