My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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