the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
