how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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