We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
