did you get engaged???
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
