I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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