Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
