I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's shark week go big or go home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
