my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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