come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
