Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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