I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
