craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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