I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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