Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
