i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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