The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
