girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
