im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
