when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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