we're blogging at a bar
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
