My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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