In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
