You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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