I accidentally had phone sex last night
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
