I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
