I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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