i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
