oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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