Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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