I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he puts the penis in happiness.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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