so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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