Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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