do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
