Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
