There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
