If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
